||[Mar. 5th, 2008|10:39 pm]
So, uh, since nobody's posted in here forever... I just accidentally recovered the list of Band Laws of Nature.|
The Band Laws of Nature
1. If an inappropriate act occurs, Mr. Kolar will either walk in the room, or turn his head to unintentionally view it.
2. Every conversation between female band members will contain sexual innuendo.
3. Any person outside of band that speaks the phrase “this one time, at band camp…” will promptly be punched in the face.
4. There will always be at least one person on the band couch at any time.
5. Mr. Kolar will be referred to as “dad” or “papa” or “uncle” multiple times a day.
6. An object of unknown origin will find its way into the bell of one of the tubas during concert season.
7. At any given moment, a low brass member is plotting. Exactly what will remain a mystery until the plot is put into motion.
8. Any loss of a particular piece of music will promptly be blamed on varsity band.
9. The percussion will never know what is going on at any time, and any tempo changes or dynamics in music will be ignored.
10. If something of a disruptive nature occurs, Mike Burkett will be blamed. (And will probably be guilty.)
11. The low brass will never play the first warm-up scale in class.
12. Dillon Raxter will break his French horn at least once a week, and Mr. Kolar will grudgingly fix it.
13. The woodwinds will get special treatment.
14. No matter what else goes wrong, our band will always be sweet at sight-reading.
15. If anything happens, Mr. Kolar knows, but he tries not to think about it for the sake of his own sanity.